Darkness

I’m pulled into darkness.
It’s cold and lonely.
I want to soak up the sunlight.
Vitamin D entering my pores.
I want to be able to get out of the darkness by myself.
Do it my way!
Not following directions by someone who doesn’t understand the darkness.
The darkness makes me focus on myself.
Examining the depths of my soul.
But what at cost?
At times, I feel the darkness is behind me.
Other times it smacks me in face.
Every day is a struggle.
The world pushing its negativity into my mind.
My job is to ward off the negativity.
Yet the job seems impossible without the proper tools.
Every day is a fight.
A battle I will fight every day.
Dreams of acceptance seems a distance reality.
Loved ones turn their back.
Their coldness makes every day lengthy.
Each hour is filled with tears.
An ocean is made.
A vow to made….Make sure no one feels the pain I caused.
Where to hide?
A deserted island?
A raft set to drift forever?
An abandoned cabin in the woods?
Or my mind left at an asylum?
Is the darkness turning into poison?
Do I seclude myself?
Insuring no one can be infected.
Is it going to leave my body?
Is the poison airborne?
Time ticks.
I don’t want to infect anyone.
No more negativity.
No more trauma.
I’m unable to handle life’s toils.
I dream of asking for help.
Yet I have no tongue.
I’m ready.
I’m not going to run.
I’m not going to walk.
I’m following my own path.