Incurable


I would rather be told that I am incurable than continue to pretend to find other reasons for why I am far from desirable.
Just tell me straight to my face that I can not be helped due to x,
y,
and z;
That you have given up on me.

In a twisted way I will be leaping with glee.
I just want an answer even if it is technically terrible news.
You really do not have to cure me,
as the last thing I want to do at this point is pay any dues.
All I need is an answer,
even if it is a dead end;
Because quite frankly,
I would do anything to not be a patient again.
These days I only crave a reason to leave the maze I ran myself into by walking into another doctor’s office.
All of the symptoms and labels they tack on your back only trap you into coming back and partaking in another bandage treatment.

I do not want to hear your false hope and those I know what you are going through statements.
Do not try to convince me that other people have it worse,
pain is in perspective.
Just worry about you or someone else,
because treatment methods are also in perspective,
and I do not even want that anymore.

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